its been a long while


^ i wish i looked like a cute little doll, like lily cole.

i haven't updated in forever, i know. i've been busy, looking for a job then on vaca in disney world. (which was fun, btw) anyway, i've been updating my xanga almost every day, but i'm so bad at updating livejournal. sorry, loves.

i feel so fat. like a freakin whale. no joke. i'm at my highest weight ever- 108lbs. god, how did i let this happen? i'll tell ya how- i forgot myself. i forgot what it was like to be focused on a goal, on always losing weight. and i gained. i was at 95 before. hopefully i can get lower than that. i need to get lower than that. my current goal is 95lbs. we'll see. miles and i have decided that we'll start going to the gym twice a week. plus we have a treadmill. add that to my veganism, and the rigorous diet i'll be starting tomorrow... well, i think i just might get back on track.

i am a total control freak. i'm like, so bad. and when i don't have a plan, when i don't feel completely in control i'm like a little ship, adrift in a storm. so i'm taking back control. i'm going to go do some cleaning, i'm going to buy office supplies tomorrow and i'll set myself up a desk. i'm starting school june 18th... i can't wait. i'm taking 3 trimesters over the summer, so like 12 classes. its an uber-rigorous schedule, but it will help put me back on track- soon i'll be ready to graduate!!

life: i've got you right where i want you

more later