"shacking up"
so i am moving to cincinnati for good.

like, i am going to school here and staying here until miles and i decide to move elsewhere.

it was my mothers idea that i should stay, and she said that she would help pay. as long as i am not living with miles. so i said that miles an i would get a two bedroom apartment and live there. she said that she wouldn't condone my "shacking up" and wouldn't pay then.

my therapist told me that i am in an addictive relationship with my mother. she keeps hurting me and i keep going back for more. but when we got off the phone- it ended by her saying "fine, yeah." and hanging up, i was ready to be free of her. i am (almost) 21. i can live on my own. i've been planning this since i was a child. i thought i'd be gone by 18 and was literally counting the days. i feel like a huge weight has lifted from me. i'm free from this. no more unhealthy stress. no more hyperventilating when she calls. free.

free.

and it feels wonderful.

i can't wait until miles gets out of work so i can celebrate!!